PRISMATIST

Advice for Election Winners

 

To paraphrase an old saw, those who can do and those who can’t give advice. Throughout America’s history, the latter have vastly outnumbered the former. That’s always been especially evident after elections.​  

 

The winners are breathing sighs of relief. They are also already raising money to get reelected. In the meantime, they are trying to figure out how to govern, which, if they have not realized it yet they quickly will, is infinitely more difficult than campaigning.

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But not to worry. Now as then, every talking head and pundit is giving elected politicians guidance. Being among the former, here is mine, for what it’s worth, about two cents. (And in keeping with the high journalism standards instilled in me by Ross and Anne Thompson, my mentors in the profession, I have credited the originators of the following advice, where known.)

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Glyme’s Formula for Success: The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you have got it made. Brown’s Rules of Leadership: (1) To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles; (2) The best way to succeed in politics is to find a crowd that’s going somewhere and get in front of them. Cameron’s Law: An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, stays bought. Cameron’s Other Law: If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong. Billing’s Law: Silence is one of the hardest things to refute. Lieberman’s Law: Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens. Ruckert’s Law: There is no issue that can’t be blown out of proportion. The sausage principle: People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made. Marshall’s First Law of the legislature: Never let the facts get in the way of a carefully thought-out bad decision. Chisholm’s First Law: When things are going well, things will go wrong. Jones’s Law: The man who is smiling when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on. The Oil Spill Principle: People will accept any bad news if the magnitude of the disaster is revealed gradually. The Rule of Law: Never make a major policy change based on a close vote. Urbach’s Law: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness. Von Neumann’s Axiom: There’s no sense being precise when you don’t know what you’re talking about. Munroe’s Teaching Principle: A little inaccuracy can save a lot of explanation. Phillip’s Rule: The best defense against logic is ignorance. Weber’s Maxim: A single fact can spoil a good argument. Murphy’s Law of Government: If anything can go wrong, it will do so in triplicate. Galbraith’s Law of Politics: Anyone who says four times he isn’t going to resign definitely will. Phillip’s Law of Committee Procedure: The only changes that are easily adopted are changes for the worse. Borkowski’s Law: You can’t guard against the arbitrary. Allen’s Law: Almost everything is easier to get into than out of. Eldridge’s Law of War: Man is always ready to die for an idea, provided that the idea is not quite clear to him. Katz’ Law: Men and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted. Churchill’s Commentary on Man: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.

 

If you have perused the preceding pearls of wisdom carefully, you undoubtedly have realized that while some apply particularly to politicians ‑ some apply generally to us all.

 

Advice to the New Members of Congress

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I’ve heard that one should never proffer unsolicited counsel. But I’ve also heard that one should never say never. This vicious circle arose when I decided to compose a column offering guidance to our freshmen Senators and Representatives, whether Democrat, Republican or Socialist. I thought about it. Then I decided to ignore the conundrum and do it. So herewith I offer some wisdom to Capitol Hill’s newest tenants, which I believe they would do well to heed if they intend to serve constituents and country beyond their current terms.

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Here are six pearls of wisdom that you ignore at your peril. First, “You must not fool yourself…and you are the easiest person to fool” - Richard Feynman. Second, “In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these” – Paul Harvey. Third, “All things are difficult before they are easy” - Dr. Thomas Fuller. Fourth, “A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes” - Mark Twain. Fifth, especially valuable wisdom for whenever you’re tempted to consult polls before deciding how to vote on any given question: “If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing” – Anatole France. And sixth, and most perhaps the important one to comprehend: “Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice” - Baruch Spinoza.

Here’s some wisdom on how to become respected by peers and the public. “The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority” - Ralph W. Sockman. “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” - Abraham Lincoln. “People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest.” - Hermann Hesse. 

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Here’s some wisdom to guide you when constituents and lobbyists come calling. “A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices” - William James. “The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously” - Hubert H. Humphrey. “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored” - Aldous Huxley. “There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity” - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. 

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Here’s wisdom to keep yourself and your nation out of trouble. “You can’t shake hands with a clenched fist” - Indira Gandhi. “War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military” - Georges Clemenceau. “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones” - Albert Einstein. “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives” - Abba Eban. 

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Because the public currently holds members of Congress in low esteem, let this wisdom be your guide whenever you are in any doubt about the right thing to do in any situation:. “Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be” - William Hazlitt.

 

Originally published in the Kingsport Times News

 

Steve Wintermute is a journalist, history student and political junkie. Contact him at stevewintermute1@gmail.com

 

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